This weekend wasn’t so good. I had my mind set to make Saturday a fantastic day, because I was shattered and was looking forward to it immensely. When it came, it was completely anti climax and I really didn’t enjoy myself. Just one of those days really, not much you can do to better them. The last few hours were good but apart from that don’t have much else to report.
Today was much better. I had much time for procrastination about who I am, what I’m doing with my life and basically just how I’m living. Saturday was full of negative thoughts, lots of negativity and it spiralled from one tiny thing that happened to me early in the day. Amazing how something like that can affect your day so much.
Anyway, today I have been thinking (as is usual for me, I spend a great deal of time in thought, those of you who know me well will know) about many different issues which are on my mind. Some good, some bad and some are just plain confusing.
I was focusing on one of the most famous and probably most well known portion of scripture today, Isaiah Chapter 53.
“He was despised and rejected by men;
a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief;
and as one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
Surely he has borne our griefs
and carried our sorrows;
yet we esteemed him stricken,
smitten by God, and afflicted.
But he was wounded for our transgressions,
he was bruised for our iniquities;
upon him was the chastisement that made us whole,
and with his stripes we are healed.
All we like sheep have gone astray;
we have turned every one to his own way;
and the LORD has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.
He was oppressed, and he was afflicted,
yet he opened not his mouth;
like a lamb that is led to the slaughter,
and like a sheep that before its shearers is dumb,
so he opened not his mouth. “
This is the heart of the gospel message. Just thinking about this today, it’s never been so real to me the sufferings of Christ. To think of who I am, a sinful human being like everyone else on the planet... yet, Christ died for me and you… such a sacrifice. He was perfect, without sin, yet he bore all our sins that day. The fact that Jesus Christ died for me, to purge my sins and make me fit for Heaven… it’s just something that I can never thank him enough for.
You know people say to me “How do you know this is true? What makes you think you’re right about this?”
A few comparisons I would like to draw.
I eat food. When I eat food, I have faith that this food will provide me with energy and keep me going. I don’t see how this food is converted into energy or how it works, I’m no human biologist, but I feel the effects and see the results of the food I intake.
When I sit on a chair, I have faith in that chair, that it will support my weight. When I sit on it, it takes my weight and I stay seated in it.
When I’m outside on a windy day, I feel the wind. I don’t see it, but I know it’s there. Same with God.
When I put my trust in God, I had faith that he would come into my heart, uphold me and keep me right. I gave my life to him in faith that he would look after me and that if I walked with Him, He would walk with me also. I did that, one day when I was very young and to this day he has never let me down. I can’t touch God or see him, but I know he’s there and I can feel/see the effects of Him in me. Just like the food I eat. I can’t see what it’s doing inside me but I feel the effects of it. The way I’ve changed my life, the way I act, the way I conduct my life, everything is different from how I would normally be, with a few exceptions. I don’t just change through the power of free will. To me, God is very real and has completely turned my life around.
Matthew Chapter 7, verses 13 and 14
“Enter ye in at the straight gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat.
Because straight is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it”
These verses make me immensely grateful for who God has made me. A transformed human being through Him. I’m not afraid to say that I am radical for Jesus Christ and I will be until the day I die and I go to be with Him.
The things I worry about sometimes seem so trivial compared to the things I should be thinking about. Sometimes I think about "Worst case scenarios" which I shouldn't becuase they probably won't happen anyway. My mind is sometimes cruel to itself. I should think about the things that really matter more often and I’m ready to take my next step. I wonder what this week will bring.
In other news, I haven’t heard from my Dad for 3 months. This is slightly worrying as I have no idea where he is in the World. Strange to think that. I hope he’s OK.
I have work tomorrow and I’m very tired now so I’ll be going to sleep.
Take care and God bless,
(If you read this whole post, I am impressed.)